Orfali Bros. - We saw only 1, I suppose the funnier one.

Surprisingly this is still a Syrian joint and are run by proud Syrians who just spread the cheer

Much like the marauding reds of the legendary Mersey, we were offering a shot at redemption to Orfali Bros. We recently encountered them in the G&M showcase of culinary innovators where they had no less than 2 items showcased. Neither deceived to impress. I have been to Orfali Bros restaurant once before. I was reasonably satisfied with the experience, but I was quite surprised that they had secured a Michelin Star without alcohol and with a cuckoo’s nest of space. My partner jested that the reason they were Bros was because they couldn’t fit all the letters of Brothers in front of the door. Orfali Bros I felt when I was there the last time, more like a test kitchen for a more successful and blingy restaurant. The menu is inventive, the seating inconveniently cramped with proper bottlenecks at the front-of-house with people sizing you up before letting you in. The fact that the showing at G&M was sub-par made me second guess even going. But I am certainly glad that I did and much like the table topping Reds of Liverpool.

Going to this restaurant is still just as inconvenient. Reservations are backed up for days, I had a vacant slot only at 9PM which was already quite late for me for dinner. Parking is like winning the Dubai lottery, only eager and early Malayali brethren win, I think. We did 2 circles and settled on a slot few hundred meters away and decided to walk the rest of the alleyway crisscrossing building entrances and exits excusing ourselves at any onlooker wearing a uniform. It feels like one of those neighbourhoods where people want to be seen more than the desire to have been, if that makes sense. Not much has changed in the setup of the Orfali Bros. It is still cramped like the Mumbai Local, where you can order one dish too many and lose your wallet much like in the Mumbai local. The kitchen is present in all its glory like the Monalisa, you catch a glimpse from all angles. This oversized kitchen is large enough to fit the entire cast of oompa-lumpas from Willy Wonka in the second floor. As you are seated, you are plagued by the assigned animated waiter while I casually looked at the glistening desserts. They hand you your menu cards which is thankfully quite brief. The menu structure is unique. The menu is split into a section with a single portion, then a 2 people portion in cold & hot sections, then Pide. There are desserts on display which basically sell themselves.

On the single piece side, there is good variety. We had the corn bomb, ooh la la, OB croquettes & Ajoblanco each. I suppose this is the section of the menu that has the most action going. In terms of preference it goes Ooh La La (a foie gras mousse with a supplementing quince vinegar and texture from the hazelnut cracker) followed by Ajoblanco (larger portion with beautiful scallops, garlicky nut paste, finger limes, tomato raisins & olive oil caviar) followed by the much too popular corn bomb (lots of corn and textures plus some cheese that is school going old) followed by a still very strong croquette (simple cheese croquette which was surprisingly well balanced). The inventiveness and the satisfaction in this section of the menu isn’t to be scoffed at. I believe the Ajoblanco and Ooh La La are additions (the name Ooh La La needs a change, saying it makes me feel emasculated). The menu is such that it is hard to order correctly, you always have FOMO because the geezer to your right is getting something that looks new and exciting. This is perhaps a restaurant that would be best served with a tasting menu to keep the ordering decision in-house.

The brief cold section looked the least exciting. I suppose cold savoury food is, to a large extent, so kudos at least for trying. We however weren’t so brave to try the lesser-known things and went with the eggplant dish which has the flag flying high in the region. This dish is basically an offspring of the Muhammara and Moutabbal. Not a bad lineage, I like them both. The dish was predictably very good – it had nice layers and was balanced very well. The crunch of the walnuts offered much needed texture and was quite a successful dish. They were weaving a rather flattering story of someone fainting after eating. While I deem it not faint-worthy there is certainly a lot of fun to be had.

The hot section has a lot of fun items. We settled on the adobo wings, wagyu gyozas, wagyu beef kebabs. Here is where I got quite annoyed. The prices range from 35 to 140. At a restaurant if there are choices of 8 items in a section you would expect the price deltas to address the price of the ingredients or something to do with the complexity of technique involved (In my view). In terms of the completeness of the meal shall not vary. To explain it better – it is possible to have grilled chicken and steaks in the same section but can have completely different prices but they are all main courses. 2 pieces of chicken wings and 2 pieces of dumplings don’t belong in the same section as 2 skewers of sour cherry kebabs. I appreciate immensely the art and technique that goes into deboning a chicken wing, stuffing it with rice and presenting 2 pieces of wings on a plate. I also don’t condone presenting 2 pieces of dumplings for AED 80 and 2x3 kebabs for not a lot more. My problem is not the price, I want to make it clear. My problem is that the menu is not intuitive. Menu is basically a contract right, whatever you may think of Caveat Emptor, this is quite confusing. If I need to speak to the waiter for portion size of every other item, might as well make the tables for 3 instead of two because those conversations are never going to end. But all that said and done I rate the Kebabs immensely; it’s a very classic sour cherry and kebab combination and it works here as well. It is not very potent but eats very smoothly. The dumplings were good, but I had to embark on an expedition to find some meat in this dumpling. I also found all the fuss around steamed and fried dough a bit silly because the dough in itself was a bit thick. The adobo wings in my view were a letdown. In the BCG share growth matrix this would be considered a dog (offensive, I know, I love my dog very much – but you know consultants are the worst). The story around the wings are cool but its not anything unusual, lots of staff meals get put on the menu – but don’t feel that this earns the spot.

Like Chekhov’s gun we finally made it to the climax when it was time to attack the desserts. I correctly guessed the most popular ones. That is another vindication of how predictable humans are and the fact that there are always about 10 items on display also tells how wasteful we all are as well. On my call, we went for the dark chocolate with a sour cherry glaze. It was fantastic. We also took away the fig tart which was less of a success. I had a nice cortado which was good. The drinks we had were Kombucha and Kvass – passable both. I am sure my gut health improved immensely. I am a bit sad that there are no hot desserts, I think when they eventually get to it, they will do some very interesting things with that too.

Overall Orfali Bros continue to make really exciting food. I can’t wait for them to be really successful and get a proper restaurant with cross ventilation, as right now it seems extremely claustrophobic. There is not much cross ventilation either. The obvious upside of course is getting licensed, I am not sure if that is a conscious choice. They have enough stuff happening to stay busy. My accountant & consumer selves are not very satisfied with the menu structure, pricing & sectioning but as long as the food is interesting, I think they will find a way to get along.